The Ironist

Differing Perspectives

A Modest Proposal 2.0

In 1729, Jonathan Swift wrote what might be history’s most horrifying dinner suggestion. He wasn’t hungry, just tired of moral hypocrisy.

I discovered Jonathan Swift in school through his masterpiece, Gulliver’s Travels. I was fascinated with the places Gulliver visited – and that’s probably what injected me with wanderlust. In this piece though, I want to talk about another work of his, something of a far greater import.

During his lifelong study of human indifference and cruelty, Swift did what any reasonable person in his place would : he suggested we eat babies.

Before you gag into your choice of beverage, let me write out the exact lines: “A young healthy child well nursed is, at a year old, a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food.” A Modest Proposal, 1729.

So obvious. Utterly brilliant.

Picture Credits : Pressbooks.pub

The essay was written as an act of rebellion against the exploitation of the Irish people under oppressive English rule. This was the time when wealthy English landlords were extracting everything of value from poor Irish peasants, exacerbating a devastating famine and leading to extreme poverty. When the policy debates became cold and rational, thereby ignoring human suffering, Swift decided to out-rationalize them. If people were being considered as economic units, why not, literally, commodify them? Through the grotesque act of dehumanizing the most vulnerable unit of the human race – a baby- he succeeded in shocking the readers through extreme satire that exposed the yawning moral lacuna in that society. His essay is one of the most biting works of literature, so much so that its teeth seem to have teeth.

Fast forward three centuries and one would think that we are more evolved and enlightened. Far too civilized and sophisticated. We would never eat children. Nope. Instead, we slow-cook them. Right from childhood, through the teenage years to adulthood with systems designed for efficient extraction.

The modern economy has unknowingly perfected the recipe that Swift mocked. We feed the babies debts from birth. Marinate them in unattainable aspirations. Roast them slowly over the coals of unpaid internships, insecure contracts, and evaporating pensions. A healthy young adult, well-nursed by social media fantasies and mounting student loans, is at twenty-five years old a most tender, palatable resource, ready to be devoured. Today, investment in the future would cost an arm and a leg (the cliche probably has roots in truth), or, to update Swift’s terminology, a baby could be offered up as asset-backed security because they would eventually grow into a consumer, ready for extraction.

The gig economy today offers another ‘modest proposal’: why not have people sell their time, their rest, their health, in bite-sized, algorithmically managed, portions?

Of course, we no longer feed on babies; instead, we feed on the future à la melting glaciers, razed forests and depleting savings. Swift’s world dressed cruelty in the language of economic prudence. Our world wraps it in better marketing speak- ‘innovation’, ‘opportunity’, and ‘disruption’. We applaud it when families work three jobs to stay afloat. The ‘progress machine’ is grinding everything down to marketable metrics. And to hark back to Swift’s analogy, it is still a feast. Only now, no one remembers to ask who is on the menu or who is paying the price.

Picture Credits: Socialenvironmentalalliance.org

If Swift were to land in this generation, he might nod in grim recognition and wonder if we looped back into the same grotesque circle, only now with better lighting and faster Wi-Fi. Or perhaps, seeing the scale of it, he might politely excuse himself from the table. This fare may be too much even for him…

Author

  • Aashisha Chakraborty

    Author of ‘Mis(s)adventures of a Salesgirl’ and ‘The 13-year-old Queen’, Aashisha moonlights as a marketing strategist and content professional. A computer engineer and MBA with 8 years of marketing experience and a globetrotter with 30 countries stamped on her passport, she is currently working on her third novel and a collection of free verses. She trusts Charles Bukowski when he said,"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead."

    Connect with her @aashisha_themindbin on instagram or visit her at www.aashisha.com.

More Irony

Words, Words, Words VI : Watch Your Language

Words, Words, Words VI : Watch Your Language

Peter writes his sixth essay on the 'abusage' of language, an affliction all too rampant today. Polonius: What do you read, my lord? Hamlet: Words, words, words. Polonius: What is the matter, my lord? Hamlet: Between who? Polonius: I mean, the matter that you read, my...

RAMBLINGS #11 – Mañana

RAMBLINGS #11 – Mañana

A rambling on language, leisure, beauty, and the business of accepting what we can't control. Some things we think about, some we ignore. And some are more important than others. Does it matter if we fight against the inevitable? Or should we just accept it? Apse of...

The Misanthrope

The Misanthrope

Peter Scotchmer's latest short story introduces us to Wilf Wolflinger, apparently the smartest man on the street. My name is Wilf Wolflinger. You might have heard of me. I used to write travel books, but I’m too old for that now. My travelling days-- to Bogota or...

Sex Education: A Short Story

Sex Education: A Short Story

In this short story by Jack Stilborn, a construction executive builds his ten-year-old son a bridge to adulthood. The realization hits Adam as he parks his SUV. Margot’s Lexus is waiting for him in their driveway, a silent accusation. He has missed the meeting. The...

WORDS, WORDS, WORDS V: On Reading (Part Two)

WORDS, WORDS, WORDS V: On Reading (Part Two)

Polonius: What do you read, my lord? Hamlet: Words, words, words. Polonius: What is the matter, my lord? Hamlet: Between who? Polonius: I mean, the matter that you read, my lord. What follows is a review of two outstanding recent books on the value of reading, which...

Mewubis on Simplicity

Mewubis on Simplicity

Our newest columnist, Mewubis, lives in a dumpster, judges humanity, and bears a suspicious resemblance to a Greek philosopher who did the same thing 2,400 years ago. Only he wasn't a cat. You ask me why I live in a dumpster? My friend, it’s my choice. Let me explain:...

Wings of Gold: Angels in Byzantine Art

Wings of Gold: Angels in Byzantine Art

This final essay traces how artists dressed the divine in imperial robes, gold sashes, and red shoes, and produced, in the Angel with the Golden Hair, one of the most beautiful faces ever painted. In the previous essay, we traced how Pseudo-Dionysius organized the...

WORDS, WORDS, WORDS IV: On Reading

WORDS, WORDS, WORDS IV: On Reading

Peter writes his fourth essay on the love of reading and the perils of speedreading. Read on! Polonius: What do you read, my lord? Hamlet: Words, words, words. Polonius: What is the matter, my lord? Hamlet: Between who? Polonius: I mean, the matter that you read, my...

Irony Club Open Mic III with Mayil Alfaaz | 26 July 5:30 pm

Alfaaz means, simply, words. And words, read aloud and in good company, are the whole of what we’re after this month. On the evening of July 26, The Irony Club is opening the mic again, and this time we’re widening it considerably. It will run the way an open mic...

The Celestial Bureaucracy: Hierarchies of Angels

The Celestial Bureaucracy: Hierarchies of Angels

In her third post, Dr. Hara tells us how Seraphim came to outrank Cherubim, and Archangels ended up near the bottom. In the previous essay, we traced the angel’s transformation from local guardian spirit to cosmic warrior under the influence of Zoroastrian dualism....